The Holidays are approaching! Isn’t the idea time to celebrate? Not for just anybody. If you are single fearing getting alone during the holidays, the might want the festivities to pass as quickly as possible. “No period of the year might be consequently dark, uncomfortable and annoying”, you tell yourself”; “If only I had someone to become with, things would have also been different”, you whisper to yourself time and again.
Using the holidays’ time for them to figure out what are the true factors that cause your inability to have a serious, meaningful, satisfying intimacy, is a time well-spent. The ideas you’ll gain will enable you to find a suitable partner by means of whom to develop and maintain a very good intimacy.
Use the holidays to figure out how not to become alone next year. You may realise that such advice is usually ridiculous. Why to think about following year when this year’s holidays are approaching? The reason is simple: if you have been one for a long time, what guarantee do you own that you will not be sole next year as well?
The odds probably do not work in your favour! Therefore, it’s up to you to do something regarding your situation. Therefore, you may want to use a holidays this year to figure out how you can make a change for next season! How can you use this year’s holiday seasons to become able to have a rapport next year?
Or you might find away that you haven’t been successful obtaining a partner until now not considering no “suitable” partner came your way, but because you had been over-afraid about developing a long-term serious relationship (for a single reason or another); or that you are so needy and dependent on whomever you ran out with that they terminated their bond; or that you were as a result controlling and demanding that a lot of of your dates just rejected your attempts to getting nearer and maybe even to moving in together.
Could it really be that you did all you could to get a partner with whom to develop a good relationship but don’t have luck? Well, these can serve you as good reasons and rationalizations to not being a success. But is it really the court case? Or could there get other reasons for your failed attempts? Could it be that something in you hinders and prevents you from having a successful relationship?
The secret to help you doing so is developing Self-Awareness: getting to understand why you are not able to develop a successful intimacy so far; what made you will fail in your relationships up to now. Is it really so that you basically didn’t come across partners who were good enough for you? Is it really so that there were “external conditions” which made it impossible to be able to develop and maintain a successful intimacy?
Using the holiday season to think these over might help you understand the true reasons for the failures. You might find, for example, that you have patterns of behaviors that repeat themselves throughout every one of your past-relationships which always induced conflicts between you and unfortunately your partners.
Why is you think that between sometimes a miracle will happen and out-of-the-blue you will have a wonderful relationship? If you have been failing for having a wonderful relationship up to now, what are the odds that you will flourish in having one next 12 months?